Thread: defeated
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Old 07-22-2012, 09:06 PM
lace3232 lace3232 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 6

Snowmelt. I know it's reached the point of decision time. I know what I want I just don't know if I will ever get it. I want my husband to have a friend he can talk to but I want it to just be friends. I want to enjoy my marriage and share the enjoyment of sexuality in our marriage "to have fun" I just want my husbands love to be just for me. I don't want to share that part of him. And I know the words I am writing sound selfish to even me but that's how I really feel. I have told this to my husband but it hasn't gotten the results I wanted. He has voiced that he will send her on her way but has also said that he will go back to feeling like he did before most likely. And I don't want that for him or me. So it's like a never ending cycle. she has been caught in lies before and it made my husband feel like crap so I know it's not just friendship. And we have say down and talked several times. Minus her man. but he doesn't play a part as far as what she says he doesn't care what she does as long as she comes back to him. I don't know about the codependency part as much as I know I feel like I have lost my normal world for something I wasn't ready for or dont understand. they seem to fully get the idea that they need multiple people to feel good about theirselves. I don't share that thought I might have not been 100%happy before but I want my marriage to work cause of us not someone else joining in. I don't know anymore I am having a rough time dealing an I know he knows cause he keeps asking what's wrong with me. I think it's funny cause I know e knows the answer. I am also having some post parton depression I think I don't feel close to my newborn and just feel like I ruine my life. but the sane person in me is saying quit feeling sorry for urself and live with what I did.
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