Between work, children's needs, church, and more, I haven't had a chance to get back, and have in fact deleted the reply I started yesterday morning. It became sort of irrelevant in light of the conversation he and I had last night.
There are a few upshots to this.
1) I did indeed make plans with someone else and let him know I did so when I didn't hear back from him promptly.
2) He says he said 'check plans with his wife,' and what he meant was not whether he and I would go out at all, but what she was doing so he'd know if his home was free or if he and I would go out instead.
3) He apologized for not getting back to me promptly and for being unclear. I apologized for misunderstanding him. We talked about things like letting me know.
4) I have pondered the question about other issues, and I think a lot of what I'm feeling has to do with the fact that I have long believed this relationship can only work for me if I don't get too emotionally attached or expect too much. There are too many gulfs between our lifestyles and needs, that I believe will ultimately prevent this relationship from every being very serious on my part; and the past week has been one of growing closer, which throws me off balance and makes me realize I need to make hard decisions and he and I have to talk about some things. Having the question asked here has helped me clarify in my own mind some of the things we need to discuss.
A side note? A tangent? I believe he's a man undergoing huge internal transitions. He's spent years partying and living what looks to me like a life of sheer hedonism. But in the last couple of years, he's starting to think a lot about the legacy he leaves behind and what good he's doing for others.
Thank you for all your answers.