That's not exactly what I meant. I'm in quite a difficult situation as regards my home life- my partner and I rent our room in his parents' house, as we're trying to clear our overdrafts so we can have a shot at buying a house rather than jumping on the 'rent a flat forever' bandwagon- this means life is a little stressed and crowded right now!
Ideally I'd get away from it all completely and live on my own for a bit to get my head together, but that would mean undoing all the hard work we've put in so far- and I do know that I genuinely want to be with this man, probably for the rest of my life.
I'm just going to have to try to concentrate on creating my own little corner of zen in someone else's house, and commune with nature more to let myself think
I ended up doing that today quite by accident- due to a monetary slip up I had to walk four miles home through bits of woodland and cornfields, and I arrived home feeling quite at peace with the world.