Originally Posted by lovefromgirl
Finnglas, is your partner aware of your other lovers?
Yes, he is- his stance on the subject has been 'I don't get jealous- so do whatever makes you happy.'
The guilt is something that's pretty much nearly gone- it stems from me having really bad self-esteem that I'm currently working my way out of, which for a very long time has meant that I've been unhappy with my other half having outside relationships, physical or otherwise- in paranoia that he'll want/love them more than me, and I'll be left in the dust. I know this is ridiculous, my logical brain tells me it is
and sure enough, now that I'm working my way out of the low-self-esteem (with much aid from my lovely other half) I feel much happier with the idea of him having other lovers. From the way we've talked about it though, he seems decidedly monogamous, but likes to hear about my 'adventures'. I say 'seems', because he may have been saying that to make me feel better at a time when I couldn't have coped with hearing otherwise, I'm going to start opening up the subject again now that my head's on the way to being sorted out
Snowmelt, thank you for your advice, that's what I'm trying to do at the moment. Unfortunately it has to be internal, due to (among other things) financial issues, I can't physically distance myself from a lot of it, but I'm taking some time to think about how I really feel and trying to talk some things out with close friends.
And Nycindie, it was from... I believe... either an article or a reply to an Agony Aunt question in Diva magazine, which I flick through from time to time