a long time has passed
I never really updated what happened here but basically I stopped making an effort and didn't talk to him anymore. If he texted me I would reply ... but I never iniated anything. He also started drifting away out of the routine of hanging out... we hardly ever saw each other. In February I met someone else who I was very intrigued by but we were just friends for a while. Still my heart and attention was definitely direct towards this new special person and the remaining thoughts of the old guy vanished. I'm still "friends" with the old guy... we've seen each other maybe three times this year. During some of the slow periods before I met the new person, he and I exchanged texts that showed we missed each other and that he realized he lost a great thing. My texts showed that I was ready to move on and find love elsewhere and that I hoped he could too. When I have seen him I have been a support to him. There still lingers some kind of chemistry that I avoid by declining his offers to just hang out at his apartment. We have gone to dinner here and there. He really wasn't good at being a friend to me... its always been that my friendship with him was far more beneficial to him than me.
The awesome thing is that I have found the most wonderful love in the new person as he and I are dating now. He is so sweet and kind and poetic and romantic and he's been communicative and understanding about my marriage and he's made an effort to be friends with my husband. He accepts that I am married and never worries about replacing MD of dating other people. I have asked him what he would do if he met someone wale and he responded by suggesting that he may be open to being poly. He stressed he doesn't want to replace me. He knows of my past experience with polyamory And how my former partner really hurt me and he is very tender with me when it comes to addressing my fears of being replaced and disrespected. It is an awesome intense love that we share for each other and I couldn't be more excited. He is worth the kind of attention and dedication that I tried to show my former... and I would do for him whatever it took to keep in my life because I know he will respect my feelings and be gentle with me shoudl we ever transition to just friends.