Scratch that about skulking around this forum "making me feel better" - if anything it's made me feel more anxious. I just have no idea how to begin approaching a potential lifestyle. All these different rules and shedules and sleeping arrangements and ahhh. It's like it seems so right in theory and yet the practicalities of everything are just beyond me.
And as part of my whole "honesty routine", is it fair for me to have told my ex that I still feel as deeply for her as I ever have after she told her about her intense feelings for me, while suspecting she wouldn't be accepting of the whole poly thing? Should I have lied about my feelings so she can just move on with her life? That didn't seem right at the time, but since then or ruminated and felt doubts. I guess my logic is that I have to face my gf eventually, and either a) she'll be open to it and I can pursue this other relationship or b) she is not okay with it, we break up, and the other person would need to know ahead of time what she is getting into with me.
Damn, I should have just journaled all this shit. I guess it comes out differently when you intend for others to read it though.
If some mod wants to move this to the relationship advice section, feel free to do that; doesn't really feel much like an intro. :P