Originally Posted by Mya
I'm so sorry to hear what you guys are going through right now.
I'm hoping for the best!
Mya - thanks a lot for your reply. Felt really good actually. I didn't expect or ask for comforting messages from others on this forum but it was nice to read your words. Was feeling a bit dumb (but not as dumb as Carob was feeling!)
Also was a bit unsure about posting about our HIV scare here, given it's a publicly accessible forum, but it was (and still is) pretty intense at times dealing with it, and writing helps. Maybe I could have written it out to myself and kept it private (as I do sometimes) but I guess I felt like reaching out a bit too. And as it's part of our relationship story, seemed to fit here. Depending on result, this could be a massive part of our lives.
This has made me aware of how variable people are about STIs. Some people are very knowledgeable and have strict boundaries. But yeah, using condoms doesn't protect from everything so we take some risks even with condom use.
I have only recently had a couple of experiences with guys in a more casual-sex way and it surprised me that they both seemed to think of condoms as a birth control thing. They said "oh, aren't you on the pill?"
Anyways. I feel like to be naive about this is a taboo? Like, something shameful to admit? I feel like there's this social expectation to be perfect and to know what you're doing when you're having sex with other people... And definitely, being smart is good! For whatever reason I'm only now
learning some important lessons. Should have thought of some of this stuff much earlier, yes. But also this seems like quite a personal thing, how you assess risk. Mm.
Well we have a test scheduled for the afternoon on Monday week. Something like 80% chance it'll show up then if it's going to be positive. Can't remember all the percentages. After that, another test at three months which will almost certainly be the correct result. And then finally six months for a full clearance. Carob wants to be cautious between us until the 6 month test, which I totally agree with.
It's good I'm going to be there with him for the first test. Then second test I'll actually be with him no matter where he is (looks very likely he's getting job! But still not confirmed... aaah... so excited!). I'll be there after 2 months, since we're sailing back into my home city (so can go with him if he's still there). But then a few days after that will be coming back here (so can go with him if he's moved here) So it's really perfect timing. Small blessings, eh?
My blood-type is B+, which I always thought of as my attitude towards life... Cheesy, yeah, but helps at times like this. (Though, not being stupid means you avoid those avoidable bad situations that require optimism to overcome! Ha)