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Old 07-20-2012, 03:36 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
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Default Equality

Originally Posted by Aurelie26 View Post
Is it even possible to love two different people equally?
If they are indistinguishable as independent beings, they are exactly the same in every way, the experiences you've shared with them are exactly the same in every way - yes.

If they are people who have differing impacts on your life, bring different things to the table, have had varied experiences with you - no.

Though that is my opinion of this idea of "loving equally". It comes up among siblings too, which is where I believe the insistence upon accepting the idea of equal love comes from. We clearly see that every relationship each person has with each other person is unique. They relate to each other differently, share things differently, show affection and concern in different ways, etc. We intuitively know that the relationships aren't equal on an emotional level, how could they be?

However, we have grown up with this idea of "I love you exactly the same as your brother", because that's what solved the problem of competitiveness as children. The honest answer to this "do you love me as much as so and so?" question would resemble more closely "I love you, regardless of my feelings for so and so, and that is what is important". Placing an artificial sense of equality on emotions like this feels good - but it isn't reality, it's just a pacifier.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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