Understanding has been reached with dear Keith!
He didn't view cyber sex as a big deal, and normally I don't either, but it was vastly different for me when he did it with someone he actually cares about. Even if she is super far away and the likelihood of them ever meeting is slim I felt like I should have been told that their relationship has a sexual side to it now, too, so that I wouldn't have been blindsided. He already understood why I wasn't happy with the disappearing act, but now he understands why I hadn't gotten over it yet.
So, we're good now. He knows that I believe in the same boundaries for online relationships as I do in person ones, which he was apparently not entirely clear on before. I am fairly certain I'd said it before, but we don't write these things down so who knows.
I told him on Monday that I wasn't going to have sex with him until we were on the same page about everything. Oddly enough, since then I've had more of a sex drive than I have in months - I've actually masturbated every day (as opposed to the MAYBE once a month that's usual). So, tomorrow after the gym should be a good time since we can FINALLY do it! When we argue, we tend to have crazy sex then forget to resolve the issue for real, so I wanted to make sure it didn't happen this time. Apparently it worked since we've reached clarity.
As for Fiona... She texted and FBed me again today and I ignored it... She went from definitely staying at my parents' house at least one night to maybe not coming at all, so I'm done. I'm not offering any energy, if she wants to come visit - great, I'm sure I'll enjoy it. If she doesn't - that's fine, I get to spend time with my family and see friends from high school and all the people who are willing to take the time out of their lives when I'm going to be around. If she persists in contacting me, I'll send her the letter explaining how I feel about her and our relationship in general. I'm tired of having to explain the same things to her, though, since I've told her multiple times that I feel like she values me when I'm around, but as soon as I'm out of sight I don't matter (I read somewhere about a relationship of presence and that really seems like how she feels about it). I can't handle that - I'm an all or nothing kinda gal, so... Yep. Kind of feeling peaceful about that situation, too. Maybe I just need this one last thing to either make me let go entirely or try my hardest to make it work. To date, I've done neither.