Awww, thank you for the kind words - I just lit off on someone in another thread, so it was good to come here and learn that in some small way I have helped someone with the stuff I spew.
I agree that if you're not part of the process, you shouldn't have any expectation to be represented in the result.
Self-knowledge is a powerful requirement in effective relationships. It's amazing what the get-togethers and in-depth discussions can do to help clarify some of this. When we get together to discuss stuff, there are usually lots of clarifying questions, and often quite a few things that are put aside, so that they can be reflected upon, because they caused us to think and examine how we feel. I don't think that anybody fully knows themselves, and I think that people do evolve over time. We need to embrace that and work together to help everyone be the best that they want to be.
If someone doesn't want to sit down and talk about this stuff, then I would be questioning what else is going on that would make them feel like they don't want to or can't.
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"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb