Goodness Ė I canít believe itís already been 4 days! Overall, today was good. Piper had lunch with Colada yesterday and today and went to her house last night too. No major tummy discomforts on my part, so that was nice. I also finally SLEPT last night. <sigh> That felt good! Not being worried that they were upstairs really helped me relax. I even bought them take-out Chinese today for their lunch.
(Not that they shared it with me because of course she canít handle the thought of meeting me Ė nor did she email me a thank you because well, Iím assuming since she hasnít sent me an email in over 2 weeks now, that sheís not going to). Ok, ok, Iím digressing from my positive mood.
The rest of my life was fairly stressful Ė kids to the doctor, sports practice Ė then weather delay/cancelation, work, and packing for our family trip tomorrow. Work was really annoying in that I had to borrow someone elseís assistant that literally could not figure out how to turn off track changes in word and was printing everything in red underline. By the end of the day, she wouldnít speak to me and I decided itís just easier to do it myself. <sigh> And then my oldest child had a total melt-down. Obviously, he comes first, so now Iíll be working much of the night to make up the missed work time. Joy.
But then Piper came home from lunch with Colada Ė with a gift. They got me the 48 variety pack of her-pleasure, etc. condoms. On some level, this is a subtle way of them doing something together that also Ďputs me in my placeí. Thatís kinda hot I think. No? Well, maybe others wouldnít think so but I sorta see it as being taken care of and I like that. Without analyzing it too much, I liked it so Iím sticking to that story. They also shopped for a TV for my room.
Fast forward to tonight. Sheís on her way here now. Iím actually pretty excited. No, I donít get to meet her still. But before getting here, Piper spent some time with me in my room. We looked through all the condom choices and tried a super studded one. Since I have never used condoms before (except a handful of times probably 15 or so years ago), I kinda enjoyed the different texture. Itís been a long standing fantasy of mine to be with Piper in my own room and having him leave to be with someone else in his room. Sorta silly I suppose, but it was fun to finally get to act it out. :P While we were in bed, we talked for a while and I asked how things are going with them and how he feels about her. He said that it feels like he has a bigger family. I thought that was a very sweet thing to say. We also talked a bit about how our little experiment is going. On one hand, heís struggling to read my thoughts. We definitely have communication difficulties so when he reads some things, he is surprised even though I feel like Iíve told him a million times. On the other hand, itís really helping us identify different issues and giving us both the time to talk and the space to think about things Ė separately. So tonight, the punchline was that overall, this might work for us.?.?? Still a long way to go in the month but now that the initial shock is beginning to wear off, we are less irritable, we have our own spaces, we are respecting those spaces better, etc. Iím feeling good about it today.
Todayís other milestones include: heís talking to her about considering this suite for them instead of me because it has its own private exterior doorway. She wouldnít have to leave at any specific time if they were in this area. Plus, it could use a make-over so they could decorate it in any way they want and make it more of their own space. Also, sheís coming over tonight to help him pack his stuff and the familyís stuff into the SUV for the family trip tomorrow. Yeah!!!!! I donít have to pack! Iím almost giddy. He wants to actually incorporate her into his real life, not just his bed. And I keep saying that if he wants her to be one of or his only primary relationship, then she has to take the work/responsibility that comes with it. I donít want to both take on the housework and take second fiddle. So Iím pretty excited that heís doing this activity with her. I got the kids and I packed and they can do the rest. That just might work!
Soooo, for todayís rules/tasks:
: I think itís less of a rule and more of a request but Iíd say ďTry to include your primary relationships in the struggles and chores of your life, rather than just the fun dating partsĒ because it makes me feel like a) you actually like this person, b) they are more part of the family (or extended family), c) I donít feel so burdened, and d) it makes me feel cared for.
: Begin thinking about what an ideal feeling would be for me in the future. In other words, do I want to feel needed? Pampered? Controlled? In Control? Attended to? Autonomous? What?