I should add, I agree with another poster who said something about the following:
When you choose to date someone who had kids or a primary already, you need to understand you are dating SOMEONE+baggage, not just SOMEONE.
What functions perfectly well when dealing with only combinations of SOMEONES, does NOT work when +baggage is added.
I prefer +responsiblities to other people.
I dislike the term "baggage" due to the negative connotations it brings.
But, the point is sound.
I am not free to be "just me" without considering EVERY SINGLE THING I DO in terms of its affect on my children and my immediate family (household). Likewise, neither is ANYONE ELSE in our family.
So, a new partner wanting to date one of us-has to except that we aren't free to offer them what someone who DIDN'T have that + responsibilities to others would be free to offer.
They are free to choose someone who is less encumbered, but if they want one of us, they have to accept that the limitations of said baggage WILL affect them as well.
"Love As Thou Wilt"