Thread: Apologies
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Old 12-04-2009, 09:00 AM
jellybean jellybean is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2
Default Apologies

I guess my first post should have been in introductions. I'm new to the whole forum thing, so I hope you can forgive my lapse.

As earlier stated, I'm not new to poly, just this relationship. I have to be honest, it has been a huge struggle for me. I love my partners. They are a warm loving couple that have invited me into their lives.

I guess my issue comes from not knowing if what i'm saying, doing, thinking is right. I try to say it right, do it right, think it right, and yet somehow it seems to come out wrong.

I have watched what I thought was stable loving relationship between my partners unravel right before my eyes. Jealousy, accusations, blame. What was once stable, is now filled with arguments and strife. So I'm asking myself, did I cause this?

We went from being happy in each other's company, spending time together, to not being able to be in the same room without someone crying. I know it's not a healthy evnironment.

I went into this relationship with my eyes wide open. I thought I knew what to expect, and was willing to accept the consequences if it didn't. I've always known that if the primary relationship didn't work, our relationship couldn't work.

I have been true to myself and their relationship. When I saw an issue arising between the two of them, I've stepped back. Allowed time for them to discuss it, work it out, do whatever they had to do. On some levels this worked, on some, it didn't, and still doesn't.

I know this is all vague, and probably needs some examples of what i'm talking about. I just feel it's too long to go into with my first post. If anyone has any comments, I'd certainly be willing to listen.

Thanks for reading my post.
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