Originally Posted by tiggerdatiger
as it seems that he's here to stay for a while... or at least my partner is now staking his claim (per our conversation last night), and basically had tried to discredit all of my observations, chalking it up to 'he's just kidding!', and 'I think he was being discreet'.
He has his head full of NRE and no matter what you say, he won't believe it's as bad as you see it. While it's not as rosy as your partner is trying to paint things, it might not be quite as bad as you see it either. It will usually fall somewhere in between. For the most part, I'd keep your opinion of this guy to yourself UNLESS your partner asks (or there is something really offensive). He won't believe you if it's not great and will just get defensive. Be polite, but stand your ground. If you normally kiss your partner goodbye in public, don't let his issues make you stop. I know I've been wrong about people based on a first meeting many of times, both good and bad and I've had enough experience to be open to my opinion changing.
I have some really good friends that are in their early 20's, I'm 43. Most of the time I don't even notice the age difference and other times, I'm taken off guard by some stuff until I remind myself that they are actually young enough to be my kids (and only 5 years older than my actual kid)
. At which point, I can let myself step back without being offended or feeling the need to prove my point - I remember not believing people my parents age knew any more than I did at that age either