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Old 07-19-2012, 04:34 AM
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ksandra ksandra is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 78
Default In person or over the phone?

A little bit of context. I'm currently in a monosexual relationship with R, who is comfortable with me being poly. About two months ago R went off into the great north to tree plant. We get to speak on the phone once every five days and occasionally in between we get to send the odd text message. His contract will be up in two weeks from today and I will be going out to Edmonton to visit him and then we will go to Vancouver to spend a month together.

Very shortly after he left I met G. We started talking and I developed a crush on G and found out it was reciprocated. I told this to R who was alright with it even to the point where he was comfortable with G and I sleeping the same bed, however R is not comfortable with anything going on beyond that. He hasn't forbidden me from doing it but has stated that it is outside of his comfort zone.

Since the last time R and I spoke about it my feelings for G have developed further and I feel like I need to update R on this for the sake of honesty. Especially because G and I have been a lot more affectionate and I'm not sure whether that is crossing a boundary too.

So my question is...would it be better to tell R now over the phone and give him two weeks to think things through and process it? Or, would this be better to do in person?

Although I would love the freedom to be intimate with G this conversation wouldn't be about asking for anything like that. I just want to keep R updated.
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