Whoops, just saw your post about it being your bf's idea to be closed, not sure how I missed that.
Still, I'm going to leave my post up because I think it's worth noting for the record that I think he's being really unfair here. Why does he get two partners and you get only one (well, sort of one and a half, since it sounds like your relationship with your gf is much different from your relationship with him)? Because he loves you too much to share you? Well, you and his wife obviously love him very much and yet you are having to figure out how to share him. Would he really break if forced to do the same?
In your position, if I were going to ask for one thing it would be not to be a secret. That can really wear on someone as time goes on. You deserve the freedom to live openly, plenty of other people with kids manage to be out of the closet about poly. It's one thing to be closeted if you only have secondary partners, but when you have two primaries I think it's just too much to ask for one to live a lie.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Last edited by AnnabelMore; 07-18-2012 at 11:22 PM.