The rules are one-sided because you have it set up as an "us and her" situation before you even have a "her". Your future unicorn will not be given the opportunity to negotiate the terms of her own relationship but will have to fit into the narrowly defined shape you've already decided on. I will say, though, if you're at least not barring her from having outside relationships you may not be as controlling as you originally appeared.
You can feel free to discuss how you feel, but if you come in saying "we really want to start juggling hot coals", don't be surprised and/or offended when people warn you to wear gloves.
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