Originally Posted by SNeacail
WTF!!! He had her over to YOUR house, with your kids in the house and didn't have the decency to discuss it with you first? In my mind this was beyond rude. It sounds like they are both trying to push you out completely. Do some tag searches on boundaries and foundations.
This behavior, especially after such a tragic loss, IMHO is a red flag for help. Look into seeking counseling, individually and together. Likely, you both need more attention than the other is capable of giving.
I would gently suggest that you re-read the post before making inflammatory comments. Not only was the visit discussed beforehand, my GF (I don't call her Colada) coming over was Pocket's idea. Her stress in this situation was in not knowing whether my GF actually did arrive as she fell asleep.
I have decided for the most part to stay out of these conversations, however I will correct misinformation where necessary. There are some key pieces of information missing in all of this, but for now I'll refrain from sharing them as this isn't my blog.
We are each grieving the loss of our daughter in our own ways.
As to Indie's comment about the sex, our relationship is complex and may or may not fit someone else's definition of poly. There is a psychological dom/sub bent to our interactions which we find mutually erotic. My occupation of the marital bed with my GF is just one example of this. Pocket would likely admit that she enjoyed our date last night.
I will be the first to admit that I have not handled things well in the past (the back story on some of that goes all the way back to my early childhood), however I'm working daily with Pocket to enhance our communication and determine new ways to foster and strengthen our relationship. Our hope is that Colada will be able to work through her anxiety.