I feel like I'm in another double bind. Just as she doesn't understand and disagrees about being distracted, she doesn't understand & disagrees about boundaries. I'm in a position of having to protest about things and I feel she's only going through the motions to accommodate me. I don't want to have to constantly do this. I don't feel that I can trust her emotions or her judgement. So why am I continuing to be in this stressful situation?
Before all this happened, I've been super stressed about this event (for other reasons) and about getting everything done in my life that I need, including trying to find a job elsewhere. She knew that. She also questioned herself when she was just considering having her lover come to the event this weekend and asked herself why she was potentially endangering our relationship this way (this after I said I was cool with him coming). Now, because he wants to, it feels like she's allowed the potential pressure on us to grow by three---weekend with him, living with him for a week, and being at the same event with us---all when I'm super stressed about other shit. Feels like I've exposed all this weakness and that's just promoted an unconscious blood frenzy. Too dramatic? Lol. I barely slept.