Originally Posted by katiesunshine
Ok I think it is important that the primary couple has rules, and that should be respected.
However, I can't help but wonder why exactly it is so important that everyone meets before anything sexual happens. If you trust your partner why not let him or her have sex and get to know this new person more fully? Will meeting before anything sexual happens really take away the fears you have?
Or am I totally missing the point here?
By the time we get to the point where we are going to be sexual with someone, we know that he/she is probably going to be around for a while (unless it is a casual, short-term thing), so that's why we say the other should meet people BEFORE sex happens. If the person refuses to meet the spouse by that point, then chances are he/she isn't going to want to put up with the other things that come along with being in a relationship with one of us so it's an easy way to weed out people who really are in it for a sexual reason instead of a loving one. It doesn't have anything to do with trust or fear, it's just a step that needs to be taken at some point and before sex happens seems to be a good time for it.
I don't know if that represents most people here, but that's how we feel about it.