Well I do see T once a week on Skype, and chat (written word only) during the week sometimes (also on Skype). But yes, I've told Seamus, I don't want to say I'm in love with T until I see him in person again, hug him and see how it makes me feel.
I don't always feel that crushes are opportunities. Most of my crushes are on actors or characters who don't exist, so I obviously don't expect them to turn into anything else. As for "real" people, though, I've had very small amounts of crushes over my lifetime, and while I enjoyed them as they were, there was always that question "could something come out of this?" and I always knew that if I didn't get an answer I would get frustrated.
I guess it's the idea that I don't even give it a try, that I give up before I even start. That maybe the guy likes me or would like me, and that we could have a fulfilling relationship, but I'm not giving it a chance.
As I said, I don't get crushes often. If I let this pass, it could be years before I mean someone else I'm willing to have a relationship with. I'm very happy with Seamus and I wouldn't be miserable or anything having only him in my life, but the later I meet someone, the less time we can spend together.
I also have a couple of friends who are getting married in August. When they met, they had a crush on each other for 7 whole years before they realised they both liked each other. I can't help but look at it and think, I don't want to lose 7 years like they did. 7 years could very well be the whole relationship, too. I don't think a relationship needs to last forever, but I want to enjoy the time it does have.
I do tend to overthink things, though, it's true.