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Old 07-18-2012, 03:45 AM
miossotty miossotty is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 11
Default GalaGirl

I gave myself time to think everything over after replying to Marcus and I came to the same conclusion. It's emotional storm. I'm adjusting to accepting a lifestyle I've never come in contact with before and with all of the little things that normally wouldn't bother me, it triggered a bigger negative emotional response than it should have. It got a bit overwhelming but I'm feeling a lot better now. With that, I'm still going to answer your questions.

When we started, we had a tendency to be all seven for each other and thankfully that has died down. It's important for us to have our own lives separate from each other. We encourage it and it's nice to swap stories when we talk again instead of being trapped in this bubble of each other's existence.

I think every long distance couple has to find what works for them. For us, it was random loving words or emoticons, Skype dates (scheduled in advance, varying in frequency, and late at night so that we're not interfering in our personal lives), and what we refer to as "text cuddles" when we want to "go to bed together". That is supposed to be all romance, no sex talk. There are no set talk times daily since he works at home on a pretty lax schedule. It gives us the opportunity to talk periodically while we're working. When we don't talk for a few hours, we both know it's because we need to focus on our work at the moment or he's using one of his many breaks to hang out with friends, workout, or get errands done. My schedule is more set so I use my days off and time after work for all of that.

It's ok for the frequency of random loving messages to die down and I've never expected him to respond to every little thing. It just started to feel weird when he stopped sending them without me doing it first or stopped responding to any of mine, especially because he is normally very loving and expressive. There were a couple of broken Skype dates in the middle of all of this. Considering the way we schedule them, breaking them with no notice two nights in a row kind of got to me. The first night, he fell asleep. That was fine because I can't blame him for being tired. So we rescheduled for the next night. That was broken because he was with the new girl and got home around 3AM which was several hours after I asked if we were still going to Skype. A response saying "Can we do it another night? I'm still out." would have been a lot better than not saying anything. He apologized and we had our date the night after. As for our "text cuddles", he's been less participatory as of late.

Again, these are all small things on their own that I'd normally not even think about. Happening all at once combined with the adjusting I'm going through to accept this part of him, I got into my own head too much. Thank you for your perspective and your rules are great!
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