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Old 07-18-2012, 12:05 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is online now
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,137

If it is easier to do in writing, why not?

Communication is communication -- be it verbal, written, or some other format -- video? podcast? So long as you both agree to the ground rules, however you do it is fine.

I tend to just go verbal -- but once in a great while some hard thing will make me take it to paper because my temper clouds my articulation.

I'll write it out and I'll hand it to DH to read while I wait. Then he will tell me he needs time to formulate a written response, or he will tell me if he's ready to tackle it verbally.

Sometimes he's ready to tackle it verbally but I am not ready to HEAR. I just want to see that he read it so there's no "I did not get the memo" static. And I will say "Thanks for reading. I'm not ready to talk more -- I just wanted you to receive it and let it simmer. How's a week from now for you?" and our conversation will not be about the THING, but about making the appt to set time aside to devote to discuss the thing.

We both walk away satisfied knowing it's in the simmer, and we will get to it when we get there.

In our youth we wanted to solve it NOW which led to pointless sleepless nights. We are older now, so we are more ok putting it on a "pause" and getting some decent shut eye first!

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