Wow! This situation sounds a little to familiar right now. Obviously the details are a bit different, but I fully understand the different sides rallying for supporters and attacking the other side. It's hard to stay neutral when your gut is telling you something is definitely wrong.
Best thing to do is NOT give your view point to uninvolved parties. Frankly it's nobody's business except those within the relationship, Flattie, wife and husband. You can certainly give your opinion to those involved, but I would be rather vague with anyone else. I just tell people, "keep in mind, there are always 2 sides to a story and in this case there are 3. Nothing is black and white, there is a lot of grey areas."