Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
But-I do have a big fucking chip on my shoulder over the rules applying to both of us and even though I'm not interested in having a play partner at the moment-I KNOW he would NOT be ok with it if I did want to. So, I'm loathe to establish that privilege knowing it won't be upheld for both of us.
(just to be clear, it's not that I mind him doing what I don't choose to-I just want him to be clear that we both HAVE THE RIGHT)
Part of the problem with absolute equality, is that we are not equal. Likely part of Maca's double standard is based what he knows about you (even if he can't verbalize this) and how you handle relationships vs how he does. If you came to him saying you wanted to sleep with someone, he would likely freak out, knowing you had already formed a very strong attachment to that person and now it's serious. I'm just guessing here. We all have at least some double standards to work through - we know they're wrong, but they are still there.
Maybe the both of you can agree/admit that the beginnings of his relationships are more along the lines of "play partners" with the possibility to become more and make your boundaries accordingly. Unfortunately you probably won't get the same rights (at least not in the immediate future). You don't want/need play partners or what looks like play partners, so maybe you can give up equality in this area (for the time being) and see how things play out. If there's just as much drama - well then, that wasn't the issue. If it causes less drama overall can you live with this double standard?