Originally Posted by pocketpoly86
Well, yeah - so the title says it all - ok, maybe not all
but a lot. I'm new here and decided tonight that I'm going to start a blog to help me with my personal journey. I just moved downstairs from my husband who is working hard to make his GF his primary. I'm mono but he's decidedly poly - it's been very difficult for me. So I'm here to learn more and work on me.
Any/all input welcomed!
I posted on your blog post already.
If you guys are all living together, sharing bills, sharing child-rearing duties and making decisions together, then you aren't his secondary, you are a joint primary, with everything that entails.
Being a primary or secondary has nothing to do with whose bed someone sleeps in, or who they have sex with. It's far more about the domestic arrangements and the decision-making and the degree of commitment present.
This is Poly (there can be joint primaries if it makes sense) not some bad Highlander plot ("There can be only One!").