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Old 07-17-2012, 07:31 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Upstate New York, USA
Posts: 1,464

Originally Posted by katiesunshine View Post
I sense a lot of guilt in him. He told me he had some feelings for me, and that was something he said he wouldn't tell his girlfriend.
Is this is first time or something?

He has feelings for you and isn't sharing this with his girlfriend, and thinks that somehow you meeting with her will make that better? I'm waving a yellow flag on this one, I'm afraid. This doesn't make sense to me at all.

Originally Posted by katiesunshine View Post
I don't have similar feelings for him and I get the feeling that he thinks that he will feel less guilty if i met her.
So you meeting her, knowing that he is lying to her is going to go well how, exactly?

Originally Posted by katiesunshine View Post
It is totally unfair if they have to set all the rules, and I also feel I showed I am willing to meet, but that I need to take smaller steps..
I totally agree.
The agreement that I have with my partners is that we will meet with new interests before anything happens that could be considered a relationship. We value each others opinions and really like to get input, since this person may well become a significant part of one of our lives.

If the other person doesn't want to meet yet, then that's perfectly fine, but it puts a limit on how far the relationship can develop. So in other words it just slow things down, which may be what you want anyway.

"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb
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