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Old 07-17-2012, 04:02 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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Well, the meeting is over. It doesn't sound too horrible to me. A bit awkward, but that's expected with first meetings. Esp the awkward of not having common language yet in talking about each other, with each other, expressing affection in front of each other, etc. The new guy may have emotional process of his own too do -- I don't know how old you are but he may feel the need to assert himself more because he's that much younger than your guy.

I didn't esp pick up snark on your part with the "new fling" or "boy" stuff. I kinda wondered though about your emotional safety though, esp if your guy is logical processing type and you are feeling type. And this "distancing" of the new person in your writing in calling then "the new fling" and "the boy" comes from that?

Between dread of being put on the spot for setting up meeting, then dread of the meeting, some discomfort at meeting, unsatisfactory goodbye at meeting, then dread waiting to hear back from your guy post meeting and post date with new guy...

I'm not getting a sense that you lay out your limits for a pace you can deal with.

I'm getting a sense of "Aaaaaahhhh! I do not feel emotionally safe here!" from you. That maybe isn't being met with support/nurture at the right level from your guy when you are at these places so you don't have to feel all "AAAAAHHH!" Is your guy is aware of your emotional safety needs? And he's not doing it? Are you actually articulating your needs so he doesn't know there are needs to begin with?

Do you feel like his being all Logical Person and you being Feeling Person means Feeling Person has to just go at the speed of Logical Person? Or if you articulate Feeling Person needs they will be pooh-poohed?

GG

Last edited by GalaGirl; 07-17-2012 at 04:14 PM.
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