I just dont know what I would do if I had to loose one of my loves but am at a lose at going about telling them
Sounds like you want to tell if you are posting here about it. Or was it just a vent?
If you want to tell that you are still seeing the other one, and want to keep it that way, you care for them both? Own your part of that stick and just tell them so.
They have a right to know and to have clear communication.
Then let them choose whether they want to own the other part of it and choose to stay or not. That is THEIR choice, not yours.
If they do not want to sign up for that kind of relationship, you will be sad for a time, but you will carry on and you will be ok.
If they DO want to sign up for that kind of relationship, you will be able to live more honestly/freely with all parties fully on board.