This years Poly Family camp seems to of been a huge success. I hosted along with other volunteers and together as a team we did a really good job. Probably the most successful event I have been involved in to date. I am so proud and pleased with the result. There was about 50 people there, including kids and together we took over a group site at a local provincial park on a lake. It was private, close to the beach and was big enough for all. It would of worked better if it was bigger, but next year we are thinking of taking over some neighboring sites for those who prefer to not live so communally.
The best parts of camp were the coffee every morning. BIG thanks to the coffee fairy!
Without coffee in the morning, I am hooped. I also enjoyed adults and kids alike dressing up and doing a variety show. The kids played with the numerous costumes all day and did their own skit. I loved watching the nerf war and water play go on between kids and adults. The bubble guns lite up at the light dance were beautiful, along with many glo sticks lighting up the lawn and christmas lights glowing as we danced to alternative dance music and later 80's pop. I made a frankenstuffy (chopped up stuffed animals that are then re-sewn), chatting to the teens, and some new adult friends. There were some great touch workshops and writing workshops. There was a nature walk for the kids. A treasure hunt. A potluck dinner.... much more.
Mono swam about five times on Saturday and took LB along with him. LB told me that him and Mono NEED a nerf gun... lol and of course nerf battle axes too. He talks about Mono like he's his big brother.
Mono and PN hacky sacked for about five hours and got dressed by others in hoola dresses when they took a break. After being dressed up they went back for hacking.
I got to spend a night with my derby love. She brought her own tent and decorated it with a lovely scarf on the ceiling. It was cozy and cuddly in there and we had some fun sexy times. We don't get that time often and I was thrilled she made an effort to create the time and space. Its been a busy spring. We needed it.
Ken came along too and he and derby and I did a variety show skit about them creating a unicorn with magic potions and incantations. I got a whole bottle of glitter poured on my head by Ken that stuck to everyone and everything. You could tell who was close to me all weekend by how much glitter was on them.
Brad came out with his wife and their boy for a day. They aren't campers and their child doesn't sleep at night very well (4years old) so they didn't stay but wish they had planned to as they found some people to talk to and participated in the activities easily. I loved watching Brad and Mono hold up the curtain for the show. I was filled with Joy and NRE for both of them. Come to think about it I was on an NRE high for everyone close to me this weekend... I guess that isn't NRE... its that constant state of content glee, joy and contentment of being with those that love me and I love them.
When I got home I was tired, happy and sad at the same time and crashed. I had some loving time with PN and then went down to spend time with Mono. I couldn't seem to get out of my head that Mono was keeping things from me and refused to cuddle up to him. He went off to bed with a shrug and didn't attempt to adequately tell me that nothing was going on and that he was being truthful about that. After lying awake for some time I decided to go and talk to him and ask him again. He said there was nothing going on and I told him I would trust that... I asked that next time I suddenly get scared and fearful that something is going on that he help me reach a place of trust again. Being left is not the best idea on his part and keeps us from connecting again. I need him to reassure me and keep at it until I tell him that I am okay. In the meantime I will work on changing my thought patterns.
I am left wondering what it was all about. I had such a great weekend and I just plummeted in fear, threat of abandonment and found it hard to trust. I was proud of how I turned it around fairly quickly and talked my self out of the irrational feelings, but I am left confused and wondering now how that happened and how I to stop myself next time.