Hoo boy. Okay, I just had the lunch with my partner and his fling, and now I'm in processing mode. Overall, it went okay. We found commonalities to talk about, I felt like we connected overall, etc. There's no interest for me in doing more with him still (I was approached first by the guy, turned him down, but my guy was into him, and asked that I resume conversation with him to start so they can meet originally).
The guy did have a few lite barbs in the beginning towards me. I can tell he can be a little sarcastic (and more than likely out of insecurity, of course). It was 'all in good fun', but odd when you first meet someone, and considering who they are, who I am, etc.
The guy had put out a couple of things like 'Should I order the tuna? Would you mind if that's on my breath?', asking my partner in front of me, as it's known that they will go off now and hook up. :-/
I felt that was a little odd.
And, the had a couple of moments himself that he seemed to be put off by. My partner and I shared a (maybe) 3 second unspoken acknowledgement of sweetness (in each others eyes, but oh so brief), and he was perturbed enough by that to bring it up? And he didn't seem to like it when my partner said 'Goodbye, sweetie', calling me 'sweetie'.
This, also, didn't make me feel too good. I'm glad that these things happened for him to see... it wasn't overboard or anything by any means, but I'm curious why (considering the situation) this guy would be upset by these moments.
My brain is reeling just a little bit, knowing that I probably won't have a conversation with my guy until later tonight after all is said and done (maybe tomorrow), and this guy will go back with a potentially sarcastic judging tone, and maybe have other judgment calls on me... but this is that little green monster rearing it's ugly head a little... I have to remind myself that my guy is into me and wants our relationship. He just gave me a key to his home yesterday.
My partner did seem to be pretty disconnected towards the end, as when the guy went to get a box for his leftovers, and all he could say to me was 'have a good rest of your day'... and trailed off, not saying any more, not asking questions (in private for a quick check-in) or giving me just a little reassurance, which I'm going to have to reiterate that I need especially right after something like this. I waited at a crosswalk for the signal for what seemed like forever as my guy looked on, crossed the street, and walked back to work.
And first thing, I pop on here to type... which is seeming to help a little... (sigh). Sometimes I question if I can handle this... given the circumstances, I think it's a bit more than what I imagined... or I'm just in the moment processing right after... it's still my first relationship like this, it's under 8 months, and this is the first time I'm meeting a hookup that my guy talks about (more than normal) right before they leave to go back to his home to have sex and hang out all day while I go back to work.