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Old 07-16-2012, 04:34 PM
aj22 aj22 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 7

Originally Posted by sparklepop View Post
So you're probably thinking that you don't want to cause him undue stress... if they are not a threat to your marriage and he keeps believing they're not a threat... why rock the boat?
Yes thats actually a perfect summary of my issue.

Originally Posted by sparklepop View Post
In a situation like that, I am not completely honest because I know that dilvuging every little thought in my head will lead to a silly situation that is not the reality. I don't think there's anything wrong with a little discretion for the greater good.

However, if I was starting to want a deeper relationship with this girl, I'd have to tell my girlfriend. It wouldn't be right for my girlfriend to be happily moseying along whilst I am harboring deeper, secret feelings. My girlfriend has worked hard to overcome insecurity and be secure about my friendship with this girl. What a fool I would make of her if she found out that her suspicions were right all along. Furthermore, if I didn't tell her, I'd be taking away some of her rights in our relationship. For example - what if her line is: "I don't want you to have a second primary girlfriend". If that's her line, I can't just keep crossing it secretly. She has a right to put her expectations out there and see if they are still compatible with my wants.
This makes a lot of sense to me actually. And makes me go back to the idea that in this case some discretion is probably worthwhile. Or at least holding off a bit until the topic resurfaces on its own where I can use the ideas of multiple relationships as a way of comforting his insecurities rather than bringing up new ones. I'm not exactly capable of deep intense romantic relationships, and that isn't what this is at all, its just more of an actual relationship than a FWB scenario, but the line is a bit of a technicality. There's still a lot of working out in my head to be done about it all.
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