Maybe I'm posting after the fact, as it sounds as if you've decided to talk more honestly with your husband, but I hope you'll consider these two statements:
Originally Posted by aj22
...as long as I am careful with time management he will trust me completely regardless of whether that is deserved.
You realize this is the essence of lying and dishonesty: being careful with [whatever] so that they trust you...when that trust is not deserved
. It is fooling people into thinking they ought to trust you when they really shouldn't. Is this who you want to be? Is this what your husband or anyone else deserves?
He isn't as openminded about socially non-conforming situations as I am. If he had a similar personality and beliefset to me I'd certainly tell him. I'm not sure at the moment he can grasp the idea of having multiple partners in this way.
This statement implies that really, a fault in him
is 'causing' you to lie. It's really saying that if
he were a different (subtext: better) person, he would be worthy of being shown the respect of being treated with honesty. Speaking from personal experience of a cheating, lying husband, this is a double slap in the face: first I was lied to and deceived and then I was told that he
lied because there was something wrong with me.
Your husband can have different views on relationships and what he wants out of one. This doesn't make him close-minded or unable to grasp anything. It makes him someone with different views than you.