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Old 07-16-2012, 03:12 PM
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PolyLinguist PolyLinguist is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Posts: 49

Ah, time management. Thanks to apophis for raising this. I am always interested in the practical aspects of processes: How does this actually work?

The only poly situation I can imagine for myself, at least for now, is that of a vee. Me in the centre (pivot, is it?), my partners off to the side. But my existing partner, my wife that is, whom I not only love but we also maintain a household together. We have two grown-up sons, who come and see us often. We have friends in common. All this takes time, and would not exist on the other side of the vee: I do not see myself running a second household, have children with someone else or do much socializing with another person. Are there many people who would even take up with me on that basis? With this kind of asymmetry?

I wonder therefore how likely polyamory is possible in my case. It would be different if I started out now, and entered two relationships more or less simultaneously. But in a 30-year solid marriage?

Oh, there is some light at the end of the tunnel. My wife likes to sleep in in the morning (we are retired). Maybe I can see someone between 6 and 10 in the morning...

What do experienced polynauts say?

On one thing though I have a different perspective:

Originally Posted by apophis View Post

So poly, then, would seem to be the choice between the benefits of maintaining a more full individual freedom in terms of sexuality and romance in order to experience the potential growth caused by the variety of partners or the benefits of complete devotion of time and energy to another individual at the expense of other potentials in order to fully explore that individual and everything they have to offer you.
I really don't think that there is much to explore after you are with someone for 30 years. I may have fun with my partner, I may appreciate the time I spend with her, but we know each other thoroughly. I am not sure I would want to be explored any further: anything I can think of, yup, been there, done that.

In fact, the only exploration of new things is the discussion of the possibility of outside sexual relationships, a bit of a taboo until recently. This is something new, fun, and has aroused no negative feelings at all. If nothing else, it has enhanced our own sex life, so at least this much good has come from raising the polyamory iussue!
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