Hrm. We all deal with that differently. For me, I want to know. I respect that others don't. It is what it is.
But as I see it... It's getting a bit sidelined with the stuff over THERE with the dating partners and their networks. But it's a basic conflict HERE, between husband and wife. Wife is ok dating under these circumstances. Husband is not feeling great on that.
So there's some choices to make.
1) You close up.
2) You stay open, wife compromises on not dating people who will not share info both ways so husband can feel emotionally safe. (Are there other ways he can feel emotionally safe? Are these being explored with wife?)
3) You stay open, husband compromises on not limiting wife's dating pool and always slap a condom on and not be fluid bound to wife any more to address the sex health angle. (Is feeling physically safe one of the the ways to feel emotionally safe? Is that where the prob lies?)
4) Something else I cannot think of right now -- you guys know each other best in your relationship. I'm sure you can think of other happy mediums. What could those look like?
5) If no happy medium is to be found and everyone remains unhappy? Perhaps you split up and remain friends and change your relationship configuration that way?
Really, it is up to you guys to talk and sort it all out. What are your rights and responsibilities to each other?
I know not every couple has the same rules. If this were happening to me and my husband -- we'd have to break it out line by line our rights and responsibilities.
Is everyone owning their ends of the sticks? Both in responsibilities? And giving partner rights -- to support, nurture, clear communication, etc?
I hope you guys find your way.