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Old 07-16-2012, 11:18 AM
sparklepop sparklepop is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 350
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roam View Post
Thanks Sparklepop! I appreciate your nuanced thinking on the situation and especially like the steak-chicken metaphor. You also sound like a cool person in general. I fully agree that addressing this in various ways like getting my needs met elsewhere etc. would help more than focusing as much on trying to ask her to help fulfill my needs. I feel you on NRE not decreasing my heat for my partners but they've complained in the past so maybe i'm deluding myself about its effect on me. Learning about other people's experience with NRE has helped reframe the situation better for myself. You pont on situational vs general expectations was very good too.
You are very welcome Roam! As for being a cool person in general. Ah, yes, I confess, I am achingly cool. It is a burden to be so cool sometimes. Thank you for the compliment. I like the way you write also. (No, people reading this, this isn't a flirt. Maybe a little. I'm poly. Let me flirt). haha. Moving on...

I'm really glad that you're looking at things in a different way. I've discovered that after all the initial hurdles of poly, the main grey area for me tends to be "Am I being a doormat? Is this a poly issue, or a simple relationship issue?"

The hardest thing in the world is to see yourself from the outside. That's why that horrid old cliche exists - there are two sides to every story.

It sounds like you have flicked a switch in there a little bit and are looking at things differently. I think that if a new perspective makes you happier, then a new perspective is a great thing.

I hope everything continues to go well for you!
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Me: (30f) open poly
Serious long-distance relationship with GF (40f)
Casual FWB with Descartes (27f)



“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without." ~ Buddha
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