Happy to meet you all!
My husband JC have been married 15 years, but are are new to the poly world. At this point, he has a secondary relationship and I am going through a long process of self reflection before I will be ready for another relationship.
In 2006 we met a lovely young girl that became our lover, eventhough that wasn't really the plan. We intended on having a 3-some with her and it turned into a much deeper relationship. She was open about our relationship with her family and friends, but I couldn't reiprocate. She ended the relationship when she realized she would have to be the closeted lover and was not happy with that.
Recently JC met Bee online. Their friendship quickly grew and they began sexting frequently. JC is a very flirty guy and this didn't bother me at all. I could tell their relationship was getting serious and I decided to discuss it with him. It was then that JC decided to tell me he was very interested in her and he had developed an emotional relationship with her. At first, it was hard for me to take as we really hadn't discussed being poly. but after some deep conversations with JC and some soul searching within myself, I was able to accept it. Since Bee lives many states away from us, it was easy for me to accept this long-distance relationship. Since then, they have decided to meet.
JC is going up to meet her next weekend and I am starting to freak out! I know my feelings are out of control. JC and I have been married for a long time and have survived hard times. Our relationship is solid and I'm not worried about him leaving me. I know that his relationship with Bee will not directly affect my relationship with JC. In fact it has brought us closer together. I have "met" Bee and she and I have become good friends. In fact, I am closer to her than any other friend in my life, ever. I am going through a lot of personal changes and she has been a great confidant for me. I can talk to her about every aspect in my life except JC. We have decided to leave him out of our conversations so we don't cross any lines. This was mostly to protect Bee since she is so far away from JC she can't have the phyical relationship I have with him.
But now I really need someone to talk to about this and I have no one! Bee is the only friend I have that knows JC and I are in an open relationship and I can't talk to her about it. I think it would be unfair to both of them for me to discuss my inability to control my feelings.
I would love to have a friendship with an person I'm not involved with who is going through the same things as me. Someone who also needs a friend to gripe to, confide in with no judgements. So, if there is anyone out there willing to talk me through these hard times, I would love to hear from you!