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Old 07-15-2012, 11:18 AM
sparklepop sparklepop is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 467
Default guilt after sex?

Morning everyone,

So, I had a strange experience last night.

I slept with a girl I've been dating for the first time.

This is my second sexual partner outside my poly relationship. The first was around Christmas.

On both occasions, I have noticed that I felt strange afterwards. Kind of down, perhaps even a strange guilt sensation and felt a real need to connect to my primary girlfriend.

I called my GF when I got home from my date (we are currently living long-distance) and she was talking about work and other things, generally seeming very happy. She said she felt absolutely fine about me sleeping with this girl.

I was really glad she wasn't upset; but I found my feelings very strange. I'd just had good sex with a great girl, my lovely girlfriend didn't mind and all should be well in the world, right?!

The first person I slept with, in December, was probably the worst sex of my life... ~grins~... so, I thought that was the likely reason for feeling bad afterwards. Last night was really good; yet I still had the same feelings.

When I lived with my GF earlier this year, we went out together and ended up kissing a girl all night. Just kissing. It felt completely liberating and great, until we got home and went to bed. My GF slept in her husband's bed and I slept on my own in my bed... and suddenly, I had those strange feelings again.

I enjoy dating other people, flirting with and kissing other people, but when it comes to the sex part, I feel like something is off. I have always preferred sex with someone I love. This girl was probably almost as good, as exciting, in bed as my girlfriend; just minus the love factor. I had a brief moment of "why am I doing this?"

I wondered how you all feel after you've slept with someone else? Whether you've experienced similar feelings? Do you 'prefer' sex with your primary for any reason? Prefer sex with your secondaries? (that is, if you work on a hierarchical basis, of course).

I'd love your thoughts!

~ Sparklepop
Me: 32f, evolving

“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without." ~ Buddha
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