Pretzels, thanks for your advice. I will definitely take it.
I've spent more time "debriefing" with both miss pixi and Ginger about our latest encounter. It's been so hard sorting out motivations and how each of us experienced it.
On Thursday I found out from Ginger, all he really wanted last week was to kiss/makeout with miss pixi. Of course, I couldn't read his mind and didn't get any verbal communication, so I had no idea when I came over and (tried to) join in. Neither of them minded me joining in, they assure me. But that kind of explains the lack of attention I felt I got.
miss pixi and I are leaving on vacation next Wed for 10 days so neither of us will see Ginger for a while. I think I am not even going to try for any kind of 3way sex for a while... If they want to makeout or do more with each other when I am around, I will take my laptop/book and go to a different room until they are done. Or if they want to go out on a date or whatever to get to know each other better, I am fine with that. I am happy my lovers have crushes on each other. I have a lot of compersion, even excitement, for their growing emotional bond, and intellectual/spiritual match.
Otherwise, I think it's time to slow things down. Any time we all spend together, for a while, I think, should be more of the going out on a date, hanging out, talking, eating, watching a movie and cuddling sort of thing. We all need to work on our dyads more before getting "kinky" again with 3way sex.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
There's no lying in polyamory!
I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)