Haha after reading this I'm afraid everyone will think I'm just some skanky chick who wanted to sleep around (thanks for making me skanky Kyle
) haha but really, Kyle and I have talked a lot on the subject and we have very different views on what constitutes a relationship. For me sex is just sex, it's just a physical need that everyone has but when there's emotion involved that's, to me, what makes it polyamorous. So we're kind of at an impasse. I see him as being the one having a poly experience because he and A have had a connection that I haven't gotten to experience. Everything I've had with LA or even B was just a physical 'hey your cute, let's bone' type deal. And to me that's not a big thing. What I had issues with as far as him cheating on me when we we first dating was him talking with another girl, that he admittedly had feelings for, and saying things like 'well, I'm with Katie now but if that weren't the case....' for him emotional attachment isn't as big of a deal to him as it is to me. But I think that goes for most male/female couples and it stems from the basic biology in us all. Since the women are basically useless (biologically speaking) for about a year if we get pregnant it's more of a crime for us to sleep with someone else, but since we as women need the men to protect us (again biologically speaking, form like caveman needing to survive viewpoint) we don't want our men to get emotionally attached to someone else because they may choose to protect that someone else instead of us and our family. ( if that makes sense, I've had quite a bit of wine haha)
But moving on....
I've been working a lot on my insecurities and trust issues. I've been working on being more intimate (which is really my biggest problem. Crappy childhood and all that jazz) i've started learning about Buhddism and have am learning to live in the now and to LET GO. and I've also been pushing Kyle to make a move with A. As far as my own love interests goes I still talk to J but it's not anything romantic, by any means. I wouldn't mind it heading in that direction but he's very mono and I don't want to end up getting hurt when/if he decides to settle down with a nice mono chick and live out their very mono lives together *gag*. But we still talk and we get along and 'click' really well. So who knows?
And I think that should catch everyone up (and hopefully clear my name a bit, I promise I'm not as bad as Kyle likes to make me out to be
) (also him whining about no sex means we went like 48 hours without. I could give it to him 7 times a day and it wouldn't be enough