Thanks Sparklepop! I appreciate your nuanced thinking on the situation and especially like the steak-chicken metaphor. You also sound like a cool person in general. I fully agree that addressing this in various ways like getting my needs met elsewhere etc. would help more than focusing as much on trying to ask her to help fulfill my needs. I feel you on NRE not decreasing my heat for my partners but they've complained in the past so maybe i'm deluding myself about its effect on me. Learning about other people's experience with NRE has helped reframe the situation better for myself. You pont on situational vs general expectations was very good too.
Schrodinger, thanks for clarifying. My Gf & I went on vacation together and that helped. She is a very caring and loving person who is doing extra to focus on me and check in with me.