Do you think a poly relationship would work in my case?
Where to start. I'm a male and have been with my partner who is a male for 10 yrs. We are 37 yrs apart. I am 33 and he is turning 70 in a couple of months. When we met I had a boyfriend of one year, but ended up leaving my boyfriend for him.
We have never really been "completely" monogamous or had a conversation about it. We have had a few threesomes, but mostly I have hooked up with other people on my own. We really can't find people that are both compatible with us, since I like older and he likes younger. Mostly I have hooked up numerous times with other people without his knowledge, but occasionally he finds out and exhibits disapproval. He thinks hooking up with other people is OK every now and then, but you should never plan it, go looking for it, or see someone multiple times.
About 3 yrs ago, I met someone and we developed an intense connection. I thought about trying to open the relationship up, but a mutual friend suggested I only had the 7 yr itch and to leave it alone. So I continued hooking up with this guy, which my partner eventually found out about. He wasn't completely thrilled, but I don't think he was worried since the other guy was in an open 30 yr relationship. My addiction to alcohol and drugs spiraled out of control and I spent the next couple of years battling my addiction.
Fast forward to now. Clean and sober for one year, I again start meeting people and having sex. At this time, my partner and I don't have sex, he has no desire for sex. I have to like force it on him, which I don't feel is fair to either of us.
I met a few people, but one person in particular that I would like to develop our natural connection that was sparked. We instantly clicked and I no longer feel the need to hook up with other people. Would be completely content with my partner and my friend who I will call Kent (he is 63).
One might say, why not just continue to hook up with this guy on the side? I could do that, but I'm tired of hiding these encounters and feel that what we have may add to my existing relationship, if it were open. I don't know.
Thoughts on this issue would be greatly appreciated. Sorry for the long post