Hi! I have had genital herpes for 4 years and it hasn't had much of a negative impact on my sex or poly life. It's basically just an annoying skin condition and if you approach it as such, it's not a huge deal to other people either. I take acyclovir every day and only have one break out a year. Better yet, I haven't given it to my primary of 3 years and have had only one lover complain of getting it from me. I'm not sure I fully believe her either because she told me in a context of trying to get me to reconcile with her during a separation period. The acyclovir disrupts the virus enough to make for low chances of spreading it. I don't have sex during and a week after a break out. There is still a chance to transmit it with no break out though! A number of people have it and transmit it without ever having a break out or knowing they have anything!
I've been surprised at the number of people not bothered by it. I've only had a handful of people decline sex with me over it and those folks were usually down to do other things sexually. I don't have the conversation with people until we're naked. It's no one's business until that point and I DO want people to weigh the decision with their attraction for me in mind instead of the info causing them to not be open to attraction with me. Some might say this is unfair but believe me, this serious conversation always brings a hot moment to a screeching halt. I give them all the facts and offer for them to take some days to think about it before doing anything more sexual. Most people don't need much time to think about it or talk and don't regret it afterward.
I definitely use condoms but I got it below the condom line when I was using condoms with someone who was recently infected and didn't know she had it. So condoms aren't totally safe. I explain that to people I'm going to have sex with.