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Old 07-14-2012, 09:27 PM
elocinallac elocinallac is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1
Default One break up in a triad

Hello all,

First time I'm posting in here, sorry it's with a problem. I am currently in a triad and all 3 of us live together in a one bedroom apartment. Me and one of my partners (we'll call them AA) have been having problems for some time. I have a good relationship with the other one (we'll call them BB), and my two partners (AA and BB) have a good relationship with each other. Today AA and I came dangerously close to breaking up. AA suggested that we try some couples therapy before calling it quits. Since I already see a therapist who knows about (and is supportive of) my polyamorous relationship, this should not be a problem. I know my therapist already does couples counseling for other couple. So, I just emailed my therapist, but in case my relationship with AA is not salvageable, I wanted to get some advice on here.

Have any of you been in a triad where you've all lived together and there was just a partial break up? I don't want to feel responsible for the break up of AA and BB as they have a healthy relationship. Likewise, I am unwilling to give up my relationship BB. AA has already expressed that she would be uncomfortable continuing living with the 3 of us together if she and I were to break up. However, neither AA nor myself is in a financial situation to move out immediately. One of us would have to do so eventually for her own comfort and I have lived here with BB longer. (It's technically BB's apartment.) This does not make me feel entitled to keep on living here while she moves out, but her immediate response was "I'm going to move out if we break up," implying she feels she is the obvious choice to go, not me. This in and of itself seems like it could cause problems for one of our relationships with BB, as BB is used to living with both of us.

Basically, I'm just really concerned about the state of my relationship. Is it inevitable that either my relationship with BB or AA's relationship with BB becomes less stable? I still care deeply about AA, and honestly don't want to hurt her any more than a break up between the two of us would. It seems unfair that if AA and I break up, one of us would have to, at least in part, sacrifice our relationship with BB. Furthermore, has anyone had to move out of an apartment once shared by a triad? What was the process like?


Also, sorry if that seemed convoluted. I'm obviously quite stressed right now.
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