Thread: GreenMom's Blog
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Old 07-14-2012, 02:47 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Being your own primary is a great goal to always keep in mind, especially when relationships become chaotic or confusing. BTW, I got that idea from Redpepper. Oftentimes, if I get caught up in feeling needy, clingy, lonely, or desperate, I hear Redpepper's voice in my mind (or, at least the voice I imagine her having - I've never met her so haven't heard her speak!) saying, "Be your own primary, be your own primary." It helps!

I am definitely not the type of person who needs daily contact. But I don't think that needing daily contact in and of itself indicates co-dependency or neediness, but if you feel bereft without it or like your day is incomplete, then it could very well be useful to question why you depend on it so badly. It is good that you are looking at these things, asking yourself what you want and why, and figuring out ways to be happy and secure in yourself. Even if nothing in your situation looks different outwardly, all your inner work will benefit you.

Also, thank you for what you wrote in your message to me.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 05-01-2014 at 05:19 AM.
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