Oh dear, that's tough stuff ... I wouldn't even argue about this personally. Boundaries are in place, I acted according to them, my partner has to act according to them, end of story. I would expect people who are new to poly discover these problems and am really amazed that you two are having issues with this still. And I am really sorry that you have been treated like this. Why does Macca tolerate a person in his life who attacks you constantly? He has to see that he is inviting drama there.
What is his reasoning behind those demands for double standards?
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.