Originally Posted by RainyGrlJenny
You describe yourself as "getting the short end of the stick" regarding your relationship, and mourn that he isn't available to be all the things you want from a partner.
Mourn isn't quite the right word, as I'm not at the point right now
of wanting those things. I'd say more I'm aware that
he never can be
those things, so it would be foolish to allow myself
to reach a point of wanting them.
I would say there's a decent probability that you are blocking yourself from investing in a relationship that is, for you personally, essentially a dead-end, not something that is lasting because you're on the lookout for a man who can meet your desires and preferences.
I think this is probably a large part of it. I suppose it leaves me curious what I'd feel for him--if I'd feel what I had always thought I would--if he were available in the normal order of things. But maybe at least I can quit worrying that I'm broken.