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Old 07-12-2012, 11:53 PM
ViableAlternative ViableAlternative is offline
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 67

Originally Posted by jones View Post
I am in the way so I am not going to be anymore, it is clear oh doesn't want to lose you and I can't stand being second best, I tried to do a middle ground, oh and gf take a break from sex, loving message etc but oh doesn't want to do this so we are breaking up so you have him all to yourself now and not me!
Just a tip....

NEVER say things you don't actually mean or intend. People tend to take things as they're stated, so if you state this, it is to be assumed that you are breaking up with Oh, and that Gf now has him all to herself. Unless this is your intent, don't state it.

It seems to me from all you've written that what you MEAN by that statement is "You're not respecting me and I'm hurt and angry, and I want you to see how much I hurt and then feel guilty so you'll tell me you're super sorry" etc., etc. If that's what you mean, that's what you should say. Don't ever say things you don't actually mean to try to get a reaction or rise out of someone. Oh, Gf, and Bf (just like everyone else) can't read your mind to find your "real" intent, you have to SAY what you mean, not send daggers of words flying in hopes they'll hit someone in the heart. Often as not, you'll miss the mark.

On the other hand, if it is your actual intent to state that you've broken up with Oh so that Gf can have him all to herself, then by all means say it. I just don't think anything else you've written here supports that as your intent, which is the whole reason I'm posting this.

Frankly, I think the whole lot of you need to figure out what you each want and need, and determine if that can be had within this relationship. It doesn't seem like there really is a whole lot of love and respect flying around. Seems more like a whole lot of lying and disrespect, from an outside view.

Ah, and the bit about Gf trying to play Mom to your kids? NOT cool. DO put an end to that. It is clear that it hurts you. Make her aware of that. She may not intend harm, might not know it hurts you. Do let her know.
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