From reading some of your posts on other threads, I'm wondering if you're holding back or unable to feel those feelings with him because you don't consider your relationship to be what you want or wholly fulfilling. You describe yourself as "getting the short end of the stick" regarding your relationship, and mourn that he isn't available to be all the things you want from a partner.
I would say there's a decent probability that you are blocking yourself from investing in a relationship that is, for you personally, essentially a dead-end, not something that is lasting because you're on the lookout for a man who can meet your desires and preferences.
I'm not saying this is a bad thing, necessarily. You have to do what's right for you.
On the other hand, other posters are also correct, butterflies are not a requirement of love.
- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy), and his 9-year-old son Kiddo