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Old 07-12-2012, 05:33 PM
km34 km34 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 624

Originally Posted by ThatGirlInGray View Post
Wouldn't a swinger with a OPP kinda defeat the purpose of being a swinger? How would it even work??

I often feel like swingers get blamed for a lot of shit around here. lol

As for OPPs, I don't think they're inherently sexist. Insecure, sure, but maybe or maybe not sexist.

I think most people agree that men and women are, in general, different. Both naturally (men generally have more natural strength) and culturally (men are taught that it isn't as important to talk about feelings whereas women are taught to cultivate their empathy/willingness to share). So, I think it is very easy for a man to accept that a woman can offer something that he can't, whether it be an innate bond over womanhood or something more complex.

Eventually, I would hope that all men realize that every individual is different and can offer different things in a relationship, but really, isn't accepting that you aren't perfect a first step?

Now, if a man asks for an OPP because a woman loving another woman "isn't really love" - that's sexist.

On a side note, my husband and I have never limited each other on who the other could be with. Never saw the point. We knew monogamy wasn't for us, and figured if it didn't make sense to deny attraction in general, why would it make sense to deny attraction based on sex or gender? We've also never really struggled with accepting the other having an interest (romantic or sexual) in anyone else. We've somewhat struggled with schedules and making sure we set aside specific no-distractions-allowed time with each other, but nothing caused by being nonmonogamous. I guess our logic beat our envy/jealousy on the nonmonogamy front (yay!).
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